I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
