Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
