she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
