I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
