He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
