You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
50% drunk capacity currently
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
