Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
