I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
