Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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