And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
