Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize