You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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