Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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