Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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