I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
