you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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