She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
