What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
