the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
