Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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