Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
