Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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