One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
They have beer where we have blood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
