we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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