You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am naked and annoyed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
