I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
