Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
