Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
