Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
