hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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