maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
