Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
