I hope mine doesn't look like that
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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