so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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