Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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