I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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