i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
