My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
