Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The air taste purple.
Randomize
