I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
