i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
