ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
