The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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