you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
