Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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