Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize