I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
