gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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