I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
