I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
