all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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