Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
