Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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