OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize