That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
