No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
