even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
