i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
