you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
