i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
