I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
