my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
