I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
