these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize