I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
