my sisters under your porch take her home
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
